The Weight of Time: Lessons from a Fragmented Soul | Fragments of a Wandering Mind 🤯

As the year draws to a close, I stand at the edge of reflection, realizing how much this year has reshaped me. The stress I carried before now feels like fleeting whispers compared to the crushing weight of these past months. Life, in its strange ways, recalibrates us—showing us what we thought was unbearable only to reveal deeper depths of pain and resilience.

They say, “If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen.”

But someone wiser said, “Sometimes, you have to make it happen.”

They say, “Never go to bed angry.”

Yet another voice whispers, “Sometimes, it’s okay to sleep on it.”

They say, “You should always be yourself.”

But someone counters, “Sometimes, to save what matters, you must bend without breaking.”

They say, “If they truly loved you, they’d never hurt you.”

But reality teaches us, “Love isn’t perfect. It’s messy, raw, and painfully human.”

So, what do we do? Whose advice do we follow? The answer is both complicated and simple. In the end, it’s not about everyone else’s wisdom. It’s about tuning into the voice within—your heart, your mind, and the whispers of your soul. Only you know what you truly need to survive, to heal, to grow.

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This year has been a battlefield—an invisible war waged within me. Each day feels like I’m carrying a mountain on my chest. Sometimes I bleed, sometimes I laugh through the pain, and sometimes I cry until I’m empty. Yet I don’t stop because stopping would mean surrender, and surrender has never been an option to KRATI.

In my last blog, I spoke about numbness—a void that consumed me. Now, I feel heavy. A weight presses on my spirit, one I cannot seem to shake. Is there more left to endure? More heartbreak? More tangled webs of emotions and unanswered questions?

“I met one of the ‘Hims.’”

For ten fleeting minutes, I glimpsed a world where time could pause. For me, it was a fairytale moment—a brief escape from the storm. For him, it was a race against the clock, a fight to suppress emotions, to shield me from the truth of his struggles.

Life, in those ten minutes, was bittersweet. I hurt him, unintentionally, with my boundaries. He showed none, and perhaps that’s what love is—a willingness to break while the other learns to bend. The warmth of his presence wrapped around me like a gentle flame, igniting a strength within to battle the storms ahead.

“How cruel it is to hide scars from those we love—to mask pain in a world that thrives on appearances. We are a society bleeding internally yet binding others in invisible chains of expectations. Isn’t that pathetic?”

This isn’t a love story. Please, don’t mistake it for one. It’s about survival—the quiet battles fought in the recesses of our minds, the resilience required to endure, and the strength to keep moving forward.

One of the ‘Hims’ is eternal. You know him too. He resides in all of us.

KRISHNA

He is time itself—unforgiving yet omnipresent. He is the thread that connects us to the universe and to ourselves. My belief in him began as an accident, a coincidence, but now, he is the only anchor I have.

I fight with him, and I have the right to!!

He is eternal, unchanging, yet deeply woven into the fabric of my life. When I visit a temple, I don’t pray for answers. I demand his presence -

“Show yourself, Krishna. I need to feel you. You can’t be this unkind.”

Sometimes I wonder if time is inherently cruel.

Are we all simply victims of its relentless march?

But then I think of my parents, their struggles, their sacrifices, and realize:

“Time spares none of us. It is both our greatest teacher and our harshest critic.”

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Yet, if time is cruel and time is God, where does kindness reside? Perhaps it resides within us, in our ability to endure, to love despite the pain, and to rise even when we feel broken.

This year, I have faced the roughest storms of my life. Yet, I refuse to let my struggles define me. Every scar I carry is a testament to my survival. Every tear shed is proof of my humanity.

“We do not find anyone in this life by chance. Every person we meet is either a test, a lesson, or a gift.”

Misery has its purpose—it seeks to crush us, to steal our light. But by refusing to sink, by fighting back, we rob it of its power. My pain, my struggles, are not my enemies. They are THE FIRE that forges my strength.

As I write this, I feel a spark of clarity. The moments where we feel utterly lost are the exact moments we are meant to experience. They are not detours but milestones on the path to becoming.

So, stop searching for meaning in the chaos. Start appreciating the quiet gifts—food on your plate, the air you breathe, and the heart that beats within you.

The ultimate currency we possess is our attention. Where we direct it shapes our reality. I have found mine, amidst the turmoil.

Have you found yours?